Life vs Death

This week has been hard.      Emotionally.      Mentally.       I’m tired and I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to think or feel anymore.

Wednesday was a mixed up jumble of almost every emotion there is.
Frustrations from a disconnected phone and a disorganized job.
Excitement because one of the girls from my house FINALLY went into labor!
Worry and concern that she would think I didn’t care because I couldn’t text from my disconnected phone.
And then…
Stunning, tears-running-down-the-face sadness when we got the news that my cousin Ian had been killed by a train.
Helplessness as I watched my mother mourn this cousin that I barely knew.
Blank. Nothing. Sometimes feeling like I had to remind myself how to breathe.
JOY! Excitement. I got the text that told me a new little baby girl had arrived!

One life had ended, another began.

Even now… as thoughts tumble around my brain… I don’t know what to think.
Maybe I’ll be able to grab one and hold onto it… later.

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